Saturday night I took a Lunesta at 10:00 pm - and slept heavily until 10:00 am Sunday morning.  So last night I didn't take anything because I wanted to get over to the lab early for my pre-chemo blood draw.  However, since I was awake from 3:00 until almost 6:00 when I went back to sleep (at least I did get well into my next library book) I slept in again this morning until almost 10:00.  

The waiting room was virtually empty at the lab when I arrived, so it worked out okay.

This morning I had an e-mail from Carolyn that she was SO far behind in her holiday preparations (quilts to finish up and get into the mail, company coming that she was not yet ready for, etc.) that she wasn't planning to attend Quilting on Wednesday - until she discovered that she had signed up to be the Greeter.  She felt terrible telling me that she couldn't help me with Vicki's stockings after all; I'm just glad that she felt comfortable enough to tell me "no" (something she apparently has great guilt over) which means I will continue to feel comfortable asking for help.  Plus I've offered to take over as Greeter on Wednesday (of course that does mean no sleeping in until 10:00!) so she can stay home and furiously sew and cook and clean, etc.

My next stop was over to Carol's to deliver her Christmas gift (a 50-minute massage at the Massage School) and see if she could help with the stockings.  But she hasn't used her embroidery machine in a year, and doesn't have the alphabet software to do what I need.  At least I got her new Copy Machine hooked up and ink cartridges inserted (my family won't believe that one!) And happily it worked!

Now I'm just waiting to hear back from the 3rd friend with an embroidery machine that I've called.  If I told you I'm starting to get worried about getting this done on time for Vicki, I'm guessing you'd believe me.

Talk everywhere mostly centers on Friday's unimaginable horror (I really haven't processed it - it is just so unbelievable on so many levels) and I hope that there will finally (!!!) be constructive dialogue and then action on both gun control and mental health issues.  

When Apryle commented on how upbeat I am (my hair is at that stage when every day is a Bad Hair Day, but hey, it's just hair) I merely replied that I continue to be grateful for all the goodness in my life, and continue to try to see the good in every situation! 

The truth is, you and I are in control of only two things: 

how we prepare for what might happen, 

and how we respond to what just happened.

We have no control over what actually happens.

I told her that all along I have been 'happy' that the cancer attacked me and not the kids.  Not that my having cancer protects them, but whenever something bad has happened to one of them it has made me wish it could be me and not them.  I'm guessing that the parents in Connecticut are wishing that Friday's mayhem happened to them and not their precious children.  We know their hearts are broken.

I recently watched a Carol Burnett video clip about a wrong number in the middle of the night, and it reminded me of something my Dad used to say. "If you are awakened by the telephone in the middle of the night, be very grateful that it is a wrong number.  Otherwise, you are in for some very bad news!"  

There is always something for which to be grateful, though I admit that sometimes it's hard to find.  The only thing 'good' about the situation is that while the shooter reportedly had enough ammo to kill all of the children at the school (!), he apparently stopped when he heard the sirens approaching.  So the quick response apparently saved hundreds of lives.  (I realize that's hardly consolation to those families who lost their children, or whose children survived but will be scarred for life.) 

IF the politicians (and we as a country) are finally able to deal with the easily availability of weapons of mass destruction and the difficulty of getting help with mental health issues, at least something good will come out of all this horror and heartbreak.  Enough is enough!